The only site dedicated to pleasing the god's of chaos before its readers

Saturday, August 13, 2011

ummm yeah guys im sorry to say but I probably wont be posting for a while, last week my laptop crashed with my review on it. I've got a new one but it doesn't have word on it so It'll be a while untill I can re-write the thing. sorry shinmeiryuu (but I'm pretty sure the only one who reads this shit I write anyway :3) lupis out.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

quick update

Sup cultists, just wanted to let you guys know I'm working on my review of shadows of the damned right now.

also when you read a review please leave a comment, I want to get as much feedback as possible. Plus it shows you care:3

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Chaotic review of pokemon black

POKEMON BLACK/WHITE
Pokémon black/white is the perfect Pokémon DS game. Its new graphic’s really show off the eternal beauty of sprites. Its battle mechanics are as deceptively deep as ever. The new Pokémon are the best in the last few generations and after you beat the main game you can catch all the other 450 Pokemon, that’s bloody right you can catch 600 Pokémon. The music and sound is the best of all DS games in general. This game is bigger, better and more complete than the vast majority of console games, making this game the easiest DS game of all time to review.
Just to prefix the body of this review I’m going to assume you have played Pokémon before, so I won’t bother with the obligatory explanation of what the series is, so suck it green as grass gamers.
WHAT’S NEW
Where to start, there’s so many new features I really could go on for pages. But I don’t want to write that much. The most immediately graphic new feature is the graphics. (see what I did there... I’m sorry I know that was terrible.) The amazing techno magic powered pseudo 3D graphics really show off how beautiful, sprites will always be. B&W really does the best possible job of showing off the strong points of the DS.
In terms of game-play, my personal favourite new feature is the seasons. The seasons are not only amazing visually; they heavily affect the actual game-play. Some areas are only available in winter because of piled snow and some Pokémon’s appearance changes with the seasons. The seasons follow a real world calendar, but they don’t follow our actual seasons, they change every month.
Speaking of Pokémon, the new 150 are just bloody awesome. The designs are very, very impressive, and these game’s has the highest number of uniquely typed Pokemon of any generation. Though sometimes these designs do seem a tad boring and tired (see: Victini a.k.a another rabbit thing).
DOES IT FEEL NEW ENOUGH
Yes and no. Many things do feel refreshed and excluding previous generation’s pokemon from the story gets big ups. But a lot of the pokemon do feel like they’re just re-skins of the old pokemon. Screw you geode, you stupid, malformed, blue geodude. THEYRE NAMES ARE ALMOST THE GOD DAMN SAME! But the biggest saving grace is easily the story and we’ll get back to that later. But first let’s discuss how it hasn’t changed.
To put it simply, everything is the same. But this isn’t quite true, what is the same is, the standard pokemon formula. You know the 8 gyms then the elite four and finally the champion.  But this isn’t really a detriment because, as the last 4 generations have shown; this works and is fun. Though I feel that next generation and believe me there will be more and anyone who say’s otherwise is a liar and an idiot (probably lives somewhere with a stupid name, like I don’t know.... carrot tower) it would be good if they mixed up the story progression formula, but kept the traditional combat.
But believe me. These games feel newer and more changed than any of the previous Pokemon games. The most interesting change is how deep and convoluted the story is compared to previous gens. It brings up worrying issues of animal slavery and child disillusionment and it does this without abandoning the cheery attitude of all of the games. The other big change is just how much after-game content there is. The real game really starts after the end of the story, there’s just so much opened up.
JUST FOR YOU CHAOTICRITIC
These games are amazing, what more can I say. They are simply the best DS games I have ever played, that’s it. Buy its frakheads.
CHAOTIC VERDICT
          10
A NEW CHAOS LORD

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Welcome to Chaos reviews

Hello and welcome to my first gaming blog, in this blog I will review every game I get, as I get them so they might be a bit late but I hope any one who reads this enjoy's them.